Doctor Delight's Dastardly Deeds
by Clarilune
Summary: Dr. Delight, the diminutive emolga, despises everyone, so he's decided to destroy the world doing dastardly deeds. Death, destruction, and doom definitely daunt the dwellers of Unova under the doctor's determination and dedication to being the darkest delinquent alive.
1. A Fate Worse Than Death

**Author's Note:** It's been a while since I started a new story, but this one has been in the back of my mind for a while. It is just going to be fun for me to write. It's a prequel to my other story, _Untamed_, although the connections between these stories probably won't appear for a long time. With that said, this story won't be a primary focus for me, but it will be something I write whenever I can't write _Untamed_.

Warning: This story will be pretty goofy and silly, but eventually it will start to get kind of serious and dark.

* * *

_**Dr. Delight's Dastardly Deeds**_

* * *

**01: A Fate Worse Than Death**

* * *

I had, for as long as I could remember, been alone. There was only one reason why this was.

It wasn't because my ears were outlandishly large.

It wasn't because my winged flaps couldn't catch wind whenever I jumped from a great height.

It wasn't because I couldn't control my electricity or that I would accidentally electrocute anyone close to me as I attempted to speak with them.

No, it was none of this.

The reason I had lived in solitude nearly my entire life was because I was the _greatest_ villain in existence. I was simply too cruel and intelligent. Too cunning and wicked. Too handsome and horrible.

But, you see, this was problematic for whatever plans I possessed. Solitude was a hefty price to pay and it would prove to be a costly habit to break, considering I had decided it was time to invest in a minion.

You see, I had grown tired of lumbering about with my inventions and work. It would be nice every once in a while if I could request another being of absolute evil to maim someone for me or to acquire ingredients for a death ray. But fate had different plans in store for me, evidently. The greatest villain in existence was deprived of companionship—even the cruel and helpful kind.

Well. I cursed fate. I condemned it. I even tried to use a death ray on it. Of course, the death ray missed and hit me in the eye, but I was still working out the kinks.

If fate wasn't going to accept my invitation, then I would have to break its doors down and tie it up. It would be so much easier if I had someone else to do it for me, however.

Where could I locate such a minion? Where did I start?

After hours of searching, I realized I was looking too far ahead. I needed to first settle down—establish a base where I could conduct my dastardly deeds without interruption.

That was why I stood now before an unworthy creature—a pidove whose feathers had started trembling at the sight of me. My fur sparked in delight at the fear glistening in the beady bird's eyes.

"Unworthy creature, you are loitering in my new lair, and I demand you leave," I ordered, smiling darkly and allowing my fangs to be seen. "If you leave promptly, I will spare you from a fate worse than death and allow you to keep every feather on your miserable, unworthy body."

The pidove trembled only a moment longer before it halted. "…Did you say 'a fate worse than death'?"

"YES. A fate so gruesome and horrible that your eggs would break if they thought about it and cause the unborn yolk to ooze out while crying, 'No! Why wasn't I born? This is so tragic and awful!' YES. A fate so terrible that if I told you about it, you would die at the thought of it and—"

"A fate worse than death?"

"…You know, that's quite rude. I was in the middle of a rather dreadful speech…but if you would like to keep questioning disruptively like an uncultured tepig, then _by all means_."

The pidove cocked its head. "Sorry, but…a fate worse than death?"

"…YES? What about it?"

The pidove flapped his wings shortly before heightening himself from his cowering position. "How is that possible? Death is the worst thing that can happen to someone, right?"

"…Well—"

"And if that's the worst thing, what could be worse? I mean, sure, getting hurt and tortured before dying would suck—if that's what you're implying—but dying means it's all over and that you don't get to keep trying. That, in my opinion, is the worst possible fate."

"…Yes, but you're free from your torture. The pain is lessened significantly—"

"Yeah, but how do you know that? Have _you_ died?"

I faltered. "…Well, no. BUT—"

"You see? You haven't died. Now, if you were a ghost pokémon, then you would know what it's like to die and everything. But since you're not, I'm pretty sure you have no idea what you're talking about."

"…Look, I just want your tree." I pulled one flap across my face, glaring threateningly at him with the fiercest expression I could manage. "If you leave without saying another word, I will allow you and your eggs to live and continue with your discourteous and ill-mannered existence!"

"I'm a dude. I don't have any eggs."

I glanced behind him, examining the empty nest. "…Oh. Well. Then I will spare you and your _future_ eggs—"

"I'm not having any kids."

"Were you raised in a bush? Honestly. Shut your ungrateful beak, and _quit interrupting me._"

"Why? You're trespassing on _my_ property."

"Actually, this is _my_ lair, so I demand you leave before I strike you with—"

"Yeah, I know. A fate worse than death." The pidove stepped back into its nest, sitting down defiantly. "I've been living here since I first learned how to fly. This isn't your 'lair.' Anything else you want to add, Dumbo?"

_What_ did he call me? "HOW DARE YOU. If you believe the ingenious and infamous Dr. Delight will allow you to address him by such a disrespectful title, then surely the fate you do desire is death! And I, with my superior voltage and intellect, will happily oblige this request—"

"Wait, what did you say your name was? Doctor…_Delight_?" Much to my chagrin, the pidove started snickering until all I could hear from his wretched beak were cheeps of laughter. "Your name is _Dr. Delight_?"

At last he realized who he was talking to. "YES! It is a name fit for only the most malevolent villain in existence—"

"Or for the fruitiest berry _ever_. Who names himself 'Dr. Delight'?"

"An evil genius who knows that such an amiable name will fool only the weakest of minds! Does someone as insolent as yourself expect malice from such a name? Of course not! Which is why it is my name. Though I may appear and sound weak, my mind is my greatest weapon, which I can use to spawn the deadliest electricity! NOW, you have incited my wrath, so I will do only what is necessary: roast your piteous subsistence until your body is as dead as your imprudent mind!"

I raised my flaps menacingly as my fur sparked in response, crackling with the electricity I knew would strike the rude bird into unconsciousness.

"Now you shall experience the deadly force of Dr. Delight and wish you had listened! Now you shall receive _a fate worse than death—_and yes, there _is_ such a thing, you fool, as you will soon see—and wish you could die so that you would never have to face the vengeful rage of the greatest villain in existence—Dr. Delight! Now you…shall…" I lowered my flaps slowly, watching the pidove as his beak opened to release a tired snore. "Did—are you…You are by far the rudest bird I have ever encountered. Are you truly slumbering? I was in the middle of a glorious threat. How _dare_ you."

Disgruntled, I poked one wing, causing him to shift. I did yet another jab, finally stirring the inferior being awake.

"Ugh…"

"YES, THAT IS RIGHT. It is I, Dr. Delight, here to destroy you in the defense of my lair—"

"You're _still _here?"

"THAT'S IT. EAT ELECTRICITY, YOU IMPOLITE FOOL." I channeled some bolts into my paws, extending my arms so that the currents scoured my flaps. "When you return as a ghost pokémon, please inform me of your experience with death! I would like to hear all about it! MWUAHAHAHA!" The evil laughter was my cue. I burst the electricity forth, causing it to clamor forward unobjectionably.

The pidove blinked once. Then twice. Then a third time.

"Nice. You almost blinded me there."

"…What? How are you still alive?"

"That stuff didn't touch me, Doc. Maybe _you_ should see a doctor."

"Do not mock me!" Curses. My electricity refused to yield to me yet again. That time it felt close, as if I was finally reigning over its power. I couldn't control it—not even sporadically. But I was steadfastly approaching such a point—a time when I could actually wield it with accurate precision.

If my electricity was failing me, I needed a plan B.

I pointed off to the side, gesturing to another branch. "What's that over there?"

The pidove turned. "What?"

"AH HA!" I shoved the pidove out of its nest, causing it to tumble off the branch. "NOT EVEN YOUR WINGS CAN SAVE YOU!"

Actually, they could. Perhaps I shouldn't have suggested it.

The pidove landed on the branch. His flaps were harsh, practically scratching the air in agitation. "Look, now you're just annoying me. Just leave. You're not getting any part of this tree."

"If you wish for me to leave, then I will return later on with an army of the foulest creatures in existence!" It was a vicious lie, but he couldn't predict that. He wasn't clever enough.

"You're bluffing." Curses.

"You have no proof!"

"Your name is Dr. Delight. I'm pretty sure you don't have an army. Are you even a doctor?"

"…I left my business leaves at home, but I can assure you, you foolish oaf, I have plenty of practice in malpractice—"

"Bring back proof, and then I'll _maybe_ consider what you said."

"Ha! Very well! And then at last you can leave my lair. Do we have a deal?"

"Sure, whatever."

And so began my conquest to not only find a minion and gain a lair but also to create some business leaves.

Oh yes. I was, indeed, the greatest villain of them all. And I would prove it.

I would make all of those fools pay for their foolishness, and I was going to feel so delighted as I did it.


	2. A Monster Appeared

**02: A Monster Appeared**

* * *

"What is this? I can't read this. This is spearow-scratch."

"And is that not evidence enough? I _am_ a doctor." I was also a doctor that didn't know how to write, but that fool didn't know that.

The pidove studied the business leaf for another second before handing it back to me. "Yeah, okay. I believe you." He sat back in his nest.

I burst into evil laughter. "Now you shall leave because I have supplied you with the evidence you desired! YOUR TREE IS MINE!"

"Why do you yell so much? I'm right here."

"…Your tree is mine," I whispered, and then began stroking the branch. The bark was smooth. It was perhaps the smoothest bark I ever encountered. At least the pidove took decent care of his shelter. It was the perfect inheritance—one I would utilize proudly.

"Actually, if you think about it, the tree isn't yours. Just the branch," the pidove corrected. "If you want the entire tree, you'll have to talk to Jameson, Demetri, and Kimmy. Just warning you: Jameson doesn't like anyone trespassing his nest."

"What utter nonsense! If you don't leave immediately, I will forcefully remove your nest," I warned, grinding my fangs together sharply.

The pidove merely looked at me and then got up.

"Ah, at last you are having sense. Perhaps _you_ would make a good minion. If ever I'm in need of wind, your abilities would be useful."

"Oh yeah, I can show you some wind." The pidove stood and flapped ruthlessly, cutting through the air as if it impeded on his space. A gust started building, spinning under the breadth of his wings. The force was starting to push me backwards.

"Considering your feeble size, this is rather impressive, but it requires work." I spat as a leaf flew into my mouth. "That's quite enough! I've experienced your wind. You may stop." I dropped to the branch, clinging to it as the wind threatened to throw me off. "You ignorant idiot—I said _stop_!"

"What? Sorry! Can't hear you! I don't have ears as big as yours!"

"MY MASSIVE EAR SIZE IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH MY LEVEL OF HEARING! ALTHOUGH, YES, BOTH ARE SUPERIOR, IF YOU WERE WONDERING!"

That was the last thing I screamed as the wind finally plucked me from the branch and tossed me to the ground.

I descended unhappily, gritting back my screams, until I landed harshly on a bush. It cushioned my fall and allowed me the opportunity to steer myself upright. I got up dizzily, the weight of my ears nearly sending me backwards again.

"You will regret this! Your home will cease to exist! I will zap it into nonexistence! I will shock you into extinction!" I shouted. I was ready to charge back up the tree and attack the prevaricator.

But then a monster appeared.

"_Hey, an emolga!"_

I stopped, as if I was suddenly afflicted with ice. That was what it felt like as I turned to make eye contact with one of the monsters the pokémon around here called a "human." It was so tall that it could have touched the pidove's branch if it stretched its arms upward. It stared down at me with a callous grin, watching me with the gaze of a predator that was ready to attack its victim.

"_You have huge ears. I've never seen ears that big before. Go, Patty!"_

A feral rodent appeared from the human's mechanical orb, its eyes stretched so colorfully and widely that I thought it most likely could not blink. I recognized the species as a patrat, but I didn't have time to observe my most recent foe. The human acted as if _I_ was the threat.

"_Patty, use bite!"_

Patty dashed toward me, its jagged tooth appearing as a separate entity in the abyss of its mouth. I refused to be assaulted by such darkness.

Squealing—I mean, grunting, I turned swiftly away as an unexpected ray of electricity jetted from my left flap. The patrat screeched as it was struck, crying out as if I had betrayed it. Fool. As if I cared for its well-being. It attacked me first. Even if it hadn't, I wouldn't have cared for its health.

"_Go after it, Patty!"_

I dodged by circling the tree, pressing myself to the trunk. As the patrat looped from the other side of the tree, I arrived at the wickedest thought. I knew how I was going to take my lair. I knew how I was going to get my revenge.

I climbed the tree without hesitating, snaring on to the branch I had just been thrown off of. After pulling myself upward, I stared at the pidove with a widening smirk.

The pidove sighed heavily. "You don't give up, do you?"

"Insolent bird, what is your name?" I liked to know the names of my victims.

"Well, it's definitely not 'Insolent bird.' It's Sid."

"Well, Sid…" I sprang forward, grasping his wings before he had a chance to flap backward. "If you don't wish to give your branch up, perhaps you're more willing to give _yourself_ up!" I heaved the pidove off the branch, into the very face of the human that had attacked me.

But, well…there was a slight error with my upheaval. The pidove clung to me just as forcefully, making me fall with it.

The human sputtered its surprise before stepping back with enough sense to call out, _"Now there's two! Patty, use tackle!"_

Disheveled, Sid arose, but not before being smacked by the patrat, injuring him enough to keep him on the ground. I tiptoed, slinking away from the combat. I inwardly praised my sneakiness. If I wasn't an evil doctor, I could have been equally adept as a ninja.

Until the twig I stepped on snapped.

"_Hey, it's getting away! Patty, go after the emolga! Use tackle!"_

"No, you big-toothed lout! I command you to maim the bird!" I cried defiantly as the patrat narrowly missed me.

The patrat stood back, and behind it I could see Sid shaking his head and spreading his feathers.

"Who are you to command me? You're not my trainer!"

"But are you truly in need of a trainer? Look at that human! It does not appreciate you! Wouldn't you prefer the leadership of another? One with a mind so powerful that there is none like it anywhere else in the world?" I offered. I brought one flap over my mouth, using it as a cape. "Someone like me?"

The patrat's wide eyes continued staring with unyielding sternness.

Then it burst into laughter.

"You? Don't make me laugh!"

"I'm not forcing you to laugh, you dimwit. You're doing that on your own. Now would you halt your laughter and consider the rewards of such an occupation!"

"Whatever, Big Ears!" And with that, the patrat charged. I was surrounded by imbeciles.

I gritted my teeth and spun past it, retracing its pathway toward Sid. If Sid brought me down here with him, then I was going to do what I swore I would do.

I faced Patty challengingly, positioned directly in front of the fallen pidove. As she clambered near, I evaded by scurrying to the side, causing a collision between the pidove and the patrat.

I climbed to the back of the tree to avoid the trainer's gaze and then leaned out over the branch to watch the show.

The battle lasted a mere two minutes. Soon, Sid was caught inside one of the human's metallic orbs, permanently removed from his home.

As promised, Sid received a fate worse than death.

From the branch, I grinned, relishing in my new lair. I curled up in the abandoned nest, stretching out my tiny feet.

"And now," I said aloud, to no one in particular, "I shall find my minion."


	3. A Nemesis and Her Shocking Web

**03: A Nemesis and Her Shocking Web**

* * *

It turned out no one evil was searching for employment. Being a villain at this day and age was hard work that no one but me decided to undertake.

It did not matter to me, however. I was determined to find the most fitting and obedient minion—one that could possibly rival my intelligence and charms but not transcend them. After an hour, I was beginning to deem the task as impossible. I was also becoming incredibly hungry, but I didn't indulge until a pecha berry rolled into my vision.

My eyes became slits as I looked around. I was actually standing near a bushel of berries, all of which had ripened. Was this trickery? Or an act of coincidence?

I batted the berry away. There were no coincidences.

"Excuse me. Let me grab that, and I'll be out of your way."

The soft female voice made me turn so quickly that my tail nearly lashed as I did so.

"Ah…AH!" The second scream I gave sounded strangled, as if something was splitting my voice in two.

The panpour smiled at me. "Hello! I'm sorry to startle you. I was just picking some berries for me and my friend, Petunia."

"Ha! You could never startle the great and powerful Doctor..." She stared at me with a patient expression, not saying anything. "…Danny. My name is Danny," I said sheepishly. I just had a feeling she wouldn't take lightly to my villainous identity. I did not want to send this female shrieking about how she was completely overtaken by my shockwaves of pure evil. She seemed…gentle. Maybe she could be an ideal compan—err, minion.

"Nice to meet you, Danny. My name is Puree," she introduced, even adding a cute—err, small bow. I did not think of things as 'cute.' There was no such thing as cute in my eyes. Cuteness was a figment of the imagination.

"That's a cute—ERR, _vile_ name! A vile, terrible, wicked, vicious name!" I rectified, wanting to shock myself into unconsciousness. 'Cute' was not in my vocabulary. Impossible.

"…Pardon?"

"Err, I mean, your name…it…Does it mean something?"

"I have no idea, actually. My mother named me after a river she used to live in," she explained. How was she still smiling even as she spoke?

"Your mother lived in a river? Impossible! She must have drowned to death!"

"Actually, she did."

"…O-oh, well…" For some reason, there was no evil on my tongue at the moment. I just couldn't say anything awful to this pokémon. Even if my instincts told me to scream that she most likely deserved it, I could not. "…Well, that's odd, because she's a panpour and you're associated with water. That is a rare phenomenon, then—"

"Oh, I'm just kidding! You take things too seriously, Danny," she laughed, gently patting my shoulder. When other pokémon did it, it was demeaning. With her, it was relaxing.

What was _wrong_ with me? Why was this _female_ draining me of malicious thoughts?

Unless…she was using some sort of power on me.

Could she be my long-awaited nemesis?

I narrowed my eyes at her as she scooped the berries into her arms. She glanced back at me, still smiling.

"Would you like anymore? There's plenty."

Perhaps that was what fueled her power. The berries were her energy source. Of _course_. There was no way I could take these berries from her. It was dangerous. It was risky.

My stomach growled.

"…Yes, but not the sweet ones. The sour ones will do."

She handed me a few berries and flashed me yet another smile. "Well, I'll be seeing you around then, Danny. It was nice to meet you."

"You, too, Puree! Have a horrib—err, _splendid_ evening," I corrected quickly. My lips felt as if they were twitching as I forced them into a weak smile.

And that was when my ador—_awful _nemesis left.

Did I really allow a female of all things to obtrude my evil veneer? Was I really prone to such petty manipulation? I could not allow such a soft, gentle, and beautiful creature to fool me. I decided then that I would have to keep my distance if I ever encountered her again. There was too much at risk whenever I was in her presence.

I had started walking away with the decision to not look back (although I might have once or twice, just to ensure that she wasn't following me) when I heard the cries for help.

"HELP! HELP!"

I winced and attempted to cover my oversized ears, but the length exceeded my tiny paws.

"FOOL! Who is shouting so loudly?!" I demanded.

"MY NAME IS GIFFORD! HELP ME!" I didn't expect anyone to actually reply to that.

"That was a rhetorical question! Why are you shouting, you incompetent wretch?! You are damaging my perfect ears!"

"SORRY ABOUT THAT! I'M TRAPPED IN AN ELECTRIC WEB AND I CAN'T GET OUT!" That was oddly specific. Was this a trap?

Even so, I started stalking toward the area that the voice screamed from, looking for any signs of an ambush. When I found none, I arrived at an open circle surrounded by trees. Dangling artfully between two trees was an electric web, and in the electric web was a snivy just a little bigger than me. It struggled minimally, perhaps knowing that moving would cause it to encounter a shocking fate.

One wide, brown eye panned toward me. The eyelids that were normally half-drawn had lifted completely. "Are you going to help me?"

"Actually, I am here to consume you—starting with your tail. I've been told I need more greens in my diet."

The snivy didn't say anything but just continued staring with an expression of disbelief.

"…You're kidding," he said, after a few seconds of silence.

I laughed evilly. "You are correct, inferior being! It was a joke! I understand you do not wish to laugh because you will be sadly electrified if you do, but know that I recognize the humor in your eyes."

"…Yeah. So anyway. Get me out of here? Please?" The snivy winced suddenly as there was a tiny crackle from around him. The web seemed to be slowly cooking him, taking every tiny movement of his into account and responding with tendrils of electricity. It was truly fascinating. I only wished that I was able to create such an exciting trap.

Did the creature not know who I was? Who was he to ask for assistance at my mercy?

"Are you unaware of who you're speaking to?"

"…An emolga? Is this supposed to be some kind of trick question? Look, I really need to get out of this thing—"

"FOOL! You are speaking to the legendary villain, Dr. Delight! If you wish to tremble, you may, but be wary, for you will receive a shock in doing so!"

"…Dr. _Delight_?" Perhaps the crackling from the web made him hard of hearing.

"Yes. Now beg for my mercy."

Then the snivy proceeded to burst into shameless laughter.

My fur bristled with electricity. I longed to charge the web and roast the lizard for good. "I see you are not very smart! How shameful! I was just about to ask if you would like to be my minion in exchange for me saving your life!"

The snivy stopped laughing after a few electric shocks from the web. "H-hold on. I can be your minion if you free me from this thing. Just please free me."

"…Apologize first."

"…Seriously?"

"You dare question your future master?!"

The snivy rolled his eyes—a behavioral issue that I would take into account for future interactions—and then opened his mouth before letting out a panicked scream.

"BEHIND YOU!" That was the strangest apology I had ever heard.

"Were you raised in a lab and fed through tubes? What an odd apology. You couldn't have worded it a little differently? If you're asking for me to put the past behind me, then—"

"No! Turn around!"

I exhaled in frustration before looking over my shoulder.

The galvantula stared down at me with glittering eyes. "I was only expecting one course for dinner, but I guess I can have dessert, too."


	4. A Memorable Minion

**04: A Memorable Minion**

* * *

"Your web is masterfully designed. It is certainly a sight to behold. And my, the prey you've captured looks delicious! You should eat him right away. I've heard lizards—even the grassy ones—taste scrumptious," I added, as I continued backing away from the spiky, gigantic, drooling galvantula.

"You coward!" Gifford cried from behind me.

"Do you hear how he talks to me? He's my future minion, and yet he cannot hold his tongue," I remarked bitterly. If the snivy did manage to live, that would have to be something thoroughly discussed before he began his occupation as my minion.

"I won't be able to hold mine for much longer either," the galvantula said. I could have been imagining things, but it looked as if it had wetted its fangs with a tiny tongue. Repulsive…yet fascinating. Did galvantulas even possess tongues? I would have to look into it if—_when_ I managed to live.

I backed away with my nervous, yet villainously handsome smile still in place.

"I promise you that he will taste delicious! I specialize in evil, but I also dabbled in food flavor."

"COWARD!"

"FOOL!" I directed my furious gaze toward my future minion for a split second before training my eyes back on the impending galvantula in front of me. "Escape and then you will be worthy of my leadership!"

"That's not what we agreed on seconds ago!"

"Potential-candidate-for-my-minion, stop arguing with me! Can't you see I'm trying to get you eaten?"

"This partnership is over!"

"That isn't your call, fool!"

"I hate when my food talks," the galvantula complained. "Would you two end your conversation so that I can end you?"

"…What an _odd_ request. Would you mind saying 'please'?"

"Are you seriously asking the guy that's about to eat us to use his manners?" the snivy asked incredulously. At least my questions were stalling for time, but the fool was apparently too intent on making his future master look like a fool. How rude. "No one in their right mind would want to work for you."

"Then why did you agree in the first place? Clearly, _you_ are the fool here! Who's trapped in a web, hmm?"

"Ahem. Excuse me?"

All three of us looked toward the voice that had addressed us.

"Would any of you know where I could find Pinwheel Forest?" the chandelure asked stupidly. Despite how bright his eyes appeared, I doubted there was any intelligence behind them.

The galvantula tsked his fangs disapprovingly. "You're in it, mate. Where do you think you've been?"

"Oh! Good! I wasn't sure. I have a really bad memory." The chandelure waved one of his ornamental arms mareepishly before glancing toward the web. "…Oh, I'm sorry, were you guys in the middle of something?"

"Yes. I was about to devour these two pokémon. Would you like to join, mate?" the galvantula asked, saliva dripping from his fangs yet again.

"Oh, no thank you! I already ate…I think. Sorry to interrupt." The chandelure started floating away. The distraction was leaving, but it wasn't gone.

"Excuse me! Hold on a minute!" I cried—erm, bellowed.

The chandelure turned back to me inquisitively, swinging his arms loosely. "Yes?"

"Could you lend me your flame in the name of all that is evil and unholy?" I gestured to the galvantula and the electric web behind me. I was managing to maintain the distraction enough that the galvantula hadn't pounced on me. If I kept going, perhaps I would be able to make a run for it. It was unfortunate for my minion, though.

The chandelure looked confused by my request, which made me wonder if I should have spoken slower. "Pardon me? I'm not evil or unholy."

"Neither is this snivy, but greatness can be taught! This galvantula is doing a magnificent job of teaching that villainous lesson!"

The galvantula clicked its pincers at me next and shook its head. "Now, hold on. Did you just say I was evil?"

"…Well, yes. You're taunting us before devouring us. In my professional expertise as a villain, the action is counted as psychological torture and therefore counts as evil. I should know; I have a degree in maliciousness and science. I could show you my business leaves, if you'd like." I just got them, anyhow.

"But doesn't that depend on your morals, mate?" The galvantula asked.

"Clarify your question."

"Well, goodness and evil depends on how you interpret it, right?"

"I believe you meant to say 'evilness,'" I corrected.

"No, 'evil' was right. It was 'goodness' that was wrong," the snivy included. I rolled my eyes. He really would have to work on holding his tongue. Corrections and questioning would not be tolerated under my authority. The galvantula clacked its pincers, equally annoyed.

"Anyway," the galvantula continued, "it really depends on how you view good and evil. So while you might interpret my actions as evil, I interpret them as good. See, I'm surviving by eating you two, so in my opinion it isn't a bad thing. And if I talk to you beforehand, well, what if it's because I'm lonely?"

"Is that why you say 'mate'? Because you crave the company of someone else? Someone that could fulfill the role of your mate?" the chandelure asked curiously. For a second I thought I heard the snivy sniffle in response.

The galvantula blinked, turning away from both the snivy and me as it seemed like he was experiencing a great revelation. "Huh. Well…no. I never thought of it like that." I needed to make a move soon or not make one at all.

I sidled over to a tree and leaned against it. My giant ears fell over my face until I pushed them back carefully. "So then, if you've never thought of it before, _are_ you truly lonely?" All three of us stared at the galvantula with mild interest.

The galvantula looked torn between shrugging and shyly tiptoeing away. "I…well, what do you think? It's a big forest, you know. I haven't necessarily had a chance to settle down with anyone. There aren't a lot of pokémon like me here."

"It seems as if you'd have more viable options in Chargestone Cave," I pointed out. "Joltik and galvantulas don't thrive in Pinwheel Forest. Have you considered that is why you're so lonely?"

"I mean, of course I have. Even so, I need to survive somehow. There are easier prey here. I eat a lot. Just the other day I almost caught a human kid."

"A _child_?" I exclaimed. How could the galvantula have tried getting a human child? Humans were evil—perhaps just as evil as me—but eating one? The thought was ghastly. I was now wondering if I should have been investing in his help rather than the snivy's, which was still stupidly struggling in the electric web.

The galvantula peered toward me with a fierce glint in his eyes, somewhat offended. I casually sidled over to a farther tree before I continued.

"That would have been a very good catch, indeed," I said quickly. "What prevented you from taking the creature?"

"He saw my web and ran away. Darn shame, too, because I've never tried human before."

I sidled over to another tree, now on the edge of the clearing. "You say he ran away?"

"Yes, he did."

"LIKE THIS?"

I took off running, laughing hysterically as I rushed through the forest, far away from the enemy that had threatened me. Behind me, I heard Gifford's cries, cursing my name and yelling about his resignation. It was an unfortunate loss, but at least the unofficial employment hadn't cost me any berries.

I had known if there was enough chatter that I would be able to make my escape. If it wasn't for that chandelure, I might not have gotten away in time…or even at all.

I kept running until my paws got tired, causing me to slow down. I knew I was at the edge of the forest when I saw a pathway ahead of me, marked with dirt and lined with grass on either side of it. I caught my breath and smiled evilly, thankful that I once again managed to dupe those who had underestimated me. It was still a shame that I hadn't yet acquired the minion I had been so dutifully searching for, however.

"Excuse me."

I sque—er, grunted as I turned to face the voice that had addressed me. I was surprised—though also not because I had carefully calculated and predicted what would happen next—to discover the same chandelure from before, looking at me with its illuminated yellow eyes. Its purple fire flickered in wonderment, casting shadows over its lined face.

"Could you tell me if we're in Pinwheel Forest?" He paused as I threw him a dubious look. "Actually…we are, aren't we? I remember now."

"What in Giratina's name is wrong with you?" I demanded. No one in the world could be that forgetful…or perhaps they could. I couldn't remember.

"I…I don't know, to be honest. I think my memory has always been fuzzy," he admitted mareepishly.

I probed him carefully, eyeing the flames that flickered from his multiple arms, which he could have used on me at any point in time. It was unnatural to see a chandelure in the wild, which must have meant he had been a trained pokémon. Dusk stones were commonly found underground or in certain caves, but since humans began mining and taking as many resources as they could from pokémon habitats, the supply was drained. The only possible conclusion was that this chandelure had been owned by a human formerly—or perhaps even currently.

"You're a trained pokemon," I stated. I watched him, waiting for a reaction. There was no surprise at being discovered. If anything, there was more confusion.

"…Am I?"

"You bloody fool, why don't you know?"

"…" The chandelure dipped his head apologetically. "I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know if I've always been this way, or if…if this just happened. I don't know if I have any family or friends or…anyone, really. Sorry for bothering you." The ghost started floating away somberly, and I noticed the fire on its arms dimmed until it looked like it was about to vanish. Something about seeing this dying fire lit something from inside me.

"HALT!"

The chandelure turned to face me and stared.

"I am a brilliant and villainous doctor by the name of Doctor Delight. It is in my grand opinion that fate brought us together. If I help you regain your memory, you will aid me as my minion. Do we have a deal?" This way I didn't to pay for his employment with food or other resources. The gift of my brilliance would have to be enough.

The chandelure continued staring at me with such a blank face. Perhaps he was in awe of my offer and my presence, taken aback by the glow of my brilliance. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened, if I was being dishonest.

"…Did you say 'Doctor Delight'?"

I groaned and stomped my paws, feeling my ears flap violently in response. "Look, it is _supposed_ to be silly so that people underestimate me because when people underestimate their foe, it makes victory that much more rewarding! If everyone knew what I was capable of, then it would put me at a disadvantage! I require the element of surprise so that revenge is sweeter—"

"I just wanted to double check! I wasn't sure I had heard correctly." The chandelure chuckled at how defensive I had become.

I stiffened and then cleared my throat. "Well. Yes. That is correct." I brought one of my flaps over my face, ominously hiding my fanged mouth. "So do you accept the deal?"

He bowed his head thoughtfully, swishing his arms from side to side. "Well…I could definitely use help in remembering everything. I don't think I've ever tried being evil before, but I could give it a shot."

At last. Even if the chandelure seemed clumsy and forgetful, his ghostly and fiery abilities would help me in the destruction I planned to deliver.

I smiled wickedly. "How malevolent. What is your name, minion?"

"I can't remember, but…for some reason, I remember the name 'Phantom.'"

"Phantom. A name fitting for a villain. You will be very useful to me, indeed."

And thus, I obtained my first minion.


End file.
